Tuesday, 28 January 2014

Fitness Feb for Smart Mumz

Trust me! Looking at the response to the Smart Mumz Meet I am hosting one more meet in the month February called 'Fitness Feb'. 



It's meet exclusively on healthy lifestyle and food habits for mothers. This was a much needed meet up for all mothers be it working or smart moms at home, as sometime being mom, we tend to forget and overlook our own health concerns. And I personally feel we as responsible caretaker of family is thefulcrum of hte family adn we should be healthy enough to raise a healthy family. The Fitness Trainer Atrayee from ReviseDiet  will guide all fitness freak smart mumz on Do's and Don'ts for healthy lifestyle whereas Vallarmathy from Gfelicita Vita - a wellness consultant for pre/postnatal care, will help mothers to understand their body after delivery with simple solutions.

If you have any specific questions or concerns on food, fitness and lifestyle please mail us on the same. For registration please mail us at modernmommy2012@gmail.com and for more details visit Events@Smartmumz page. We are taking only limited members and registration closes by 10th February 2012.



So all you smart moms what are you waiting for, gear up for 'Fitness Feb' and register soon. Lets begin 2014 with a healthy lifestyle.


-XOXO
Nidhi @Moms' Space

Smart Mumz Meet>>26 Jan,2014

Heylos to all smart mumz, I would like to thank all the smart mommies who attend the first Smart momz meet on 26th Jan 2014. 

Yes we did miss our active members like Soumya, Deepti and shilpi on the occasion. As I had mentioned it earlier, it was first of it's kind meet where I was meeting my virtual friends in real time. 

All momz who attended were highly enthusiast and looking forward for more meets to come. 

R-L: Manasa, Priyanka, Nidhi, Kavya, Hima, Pruthvi and Savita
There were momz who attended the meet from various part of Bangalore like RTNagar, Banshakari, Banergatta, Jp Nagar and so. Kudos to all momz who took out some time away from home and kids and join us in the meet.

I was glad to see the turnout as it was full house with 10 smart momz. We kick started our conversation with a normal ice-breaking introduction and then eventually each mom described their day's routine like how they start their day, manage kids, balance work life, quick cooking and so on. 


R-L: Priyanka, Manasa, Nidhi, Archana, Hima, Savita & Pruthvi

We spoke so much about food recipes, hairfall solutions, school admissions, sibblings, second child, spa, trek and what not. this time the discussion or talks were not specific as it was a first meet.
It was really nice to interact with all like minded momz. We had 'good time' with just being our self sans kids and home, really enjoyed the meet. 


Here are few snippets from the members o the feedback of meet;

"Great job Nidhi... Thanks for the arrangement, loved every bit of it, had awesome time. Filled with enthu and positive mommies. Smart momz group really rocks. A much needed break from our routine. Will look forward for the next meet up. .loads of love to you all gorgeous mommies", saya Hima a super mom who is a marketing professional and also manages home and a toddler boy.


R-L: Manasa, Kavya, Priyanka, Nidhi, Hima, Savitha, Pruthvi & Manmeet


"Nidhi thumbs up for you... Had a great time. Oh God!! We spoke so much!!  I was so full with talks and food that I crashed out once I reached home... looking forward for Spa Meet", says an HR professional and a mom to a toddler daughter.

"Every arrangement wad fine Nidhu, as Hima said a small diversion from our routine gave us loads of relaxation, I feel re-energised by the positive vibes of all smart momz in the group. Thank you very much , for making me participate this meet. A round of applause for Smart mom Nids", says Archie a mom of two daughters and Reiki therapist.

"Hey Nidhi, the meet was awesome and am glad to meet all smart momz. Looking forward to meet you guys again," Says Priyanka A who is a Smart Mom at home for a 2yrs old toddler boy.




"Hey all... It was wonderful...Had such a wonderful time with you all... 
Feeling lucky to get connected with all like minded momz. 
Thanks a ton fo ran awesome day... And spl thanks to Nidhi for the arrangements and make it possible for  all of us to meet. I am eagerly looking forward to attend more smart momz meet", says Manasa a working mom who has 6 months old baby.

"I enjoyed, it was amazing and I mean it :)
My husband was happy too.. I hardly have friends after my marriage
He wants me to go out with friends :)," Says Kavya who is a working mom with a 8 months old baby.



While closing the smart mumz meet, we ended up to decide on few themes for future meets like Spa Day, Movie time, trek, clubbing, scuba diving what not. For upcoming events at smart momz please visit Events@SmartMomz

A warm hug and a big thank you to all enthu momz, aka Smart Mumz... See you all soon.


-XOXO
Nidhi @Moms' Space


Saturday, 25 January 2014

Guest Blog>>Toys for Toddlers

Heylos to all smart momz, hope you all are having an amazing weekend. Am very much excited for this weekend as I'll be meeting all like minded momz at Smart Momz Meet on 26th January, 2014. I have a swollen nose due to some head stunts by my lo, though applying ice is helping a lot to subside the swelling, but still pain is there. 

I am also having sprained neck due to prolonged holding my lo for making her sleep. Trust babies are angel till a one year and a half or so but once they step into toddlers group, they are uncontrollable. As most of the motor skill are developed and hey also begin to communicate with us even they do not have learnt many words. 

So today am posting a blog by a Guest Blogger Charu Swaroop, who'll give us more information on how to stimulate learning in toddlers with the help of well equipped toys. So please read in, let me know your views and tips too.


Toys for Toddlers
By Charu Swaroop

'Children learn when they play. Most importantly in play, children learn how to learn.'

Educational toys are by no means a new invention. The purpose of toys has always been educational. The bows and arrows used by the little boys in the Roman era were of significant importance. They were to teach future warrior mastery among the children. When we look at educational toys, we should see that they should possess certain features to teach children certain skills. It shouldn't be only for fun and entertainment. Educational toys stimulate a child’s understanding of mathematical, scientific and spatial concepts over other toys.  




So here are few important pointers to be kept in mind while selecting educational toys for toddlers:

1) Toys offering Repeat Play Value
Toddlers like to take toys apart, pull out, pull in, add on and build up. Toys that spark imagination and help children develop problem-solving and logical thinking skills are the ones to select. Blocks, wooden toys, nesting blocks or cups, toys for sand and water play are some of the examples you can consider. 

2) Toys exploring exploration and problem solving
Play gives children to practice new skills over and over again, like toys helping enhance spatial relations skills, hand eye coordination and fine motor skills. Toys like puzzles, shape sorters or materials like crayons, paint, play-dough fits the frame.

3) Toys sparking imagination in your child-
Look out for toys that your child can use as they develop and act out stories from them. Pretend play toys help them build their language and literacy skills, problem-solving skills and the ability to put events in logical order. Toys like action figures, dolls or doll houses, toy food and plastic plates, toy tools are some of them.

4) Get some ‘ready to read’ toys-
Involve your child maximum in toys that encourage them to read more and more. Toys like books, magnetic letters, or art supplies like crayons, markers, finger paints are some tools that enhance early reading and writing skills in your child. In addition to it, they also build their familiarity with letters and text.


5) Toys that nurture cross-generational play-
At times it is good to go for toys that involve toys with adult participation. As your approaches age 3 and above, it is great to introduce board games to them. A family board game would be a good start. It not only involves all the family members but also encourages counting, matching and memory skills, listening skills and self control. Most importantly, it teaches children to be gracious winners and how to cope up with losing.

Play plays an important role in a child’s life. When we specifically talk about educational toys, we must always remember these lines by R.D Clyde, 'Getting things done is not always what is most important. There is value in allowing others to learn, even if the task is not accomplished as quickly, efficiently or effectively.'


About the Guest Blogger:
Charu Swaroop contributes to Yellow Giraffe – online toy store for kids’ toys in India. When time permits, Charu loves dreaming up and trying new dishes. She has been promising herself to get over her sweet tooth (since 2003), and to trek in Nepal (since 2009).

So all smart mommies out there select toys for you toddler smartly and stimulate their learning.

-XOXO
Nidhi @Moms' Space

You may also like to read;
How to raise a patriotic child?
Lets' celebrate 'Festivity in Diversity'
Weekend Art>> Play and Learn
Christmas calling: Top10 Activities for kids
Guest post: A Cute message board
10 Things Motherhood taught me

Tuesday, 21 January 2014

How to raise a patriotic child?

Images from www.40to40.com
Have you ever wondered on how to develop patriotism in your little one? Yes, at least I have, with Republic Day around the corner, I look forward to raise a patriotic child in 2014. Though I would not like to impose any of my thoughts on my little one. I would be more than glad if at all she to adapts at least one quality from our national heroes. On 15th August 2013, we were in UK due to my hubby's project, nevertheless I made Erishka watch the Parade, flag hoisting and National Anthem. Thanks to Youtube!

 I still remember during my childhood days I was always amused by the stories of freedom fighters of India, and always aspired to be the one. I use sit the kitchen and my mom use to tell me the child stories of Iron man of India (Sardar Vallabhai Patel, Gandhiji, Jhasi ki Raani and so on.


My favoruite of all national heroes were Rani LaxmiBai and Tipu Sultan. Moreover, I was so much of carried away with persistence and courage of Rani LaxmiBai, that I participated in one of the 'School Fancy Dress Competion' as a 'Jhansi Ki Raani'. I received lots of accolades for my dialogue , 'Main Apni Jhani Kissi bhi Kimat Pe Nahiin Doongi, Nahiin Doongi, Nahiin Doongi'! With this powerful dialogue I not only received appreciation but I also won the prize for the same. 


Why I loved Tipu Sultan during my childhood days? You may give credit to Doordarshan for that, they use telecast the TV series on this period story of 'The Tipu Sultan'. I use to like the war scene, the elephants and army forces and all. I also asked my mom to get me the toy-sword just like Tipu Sultan. We also hunted for the Pagadi (head gear) he donned while his ruling regime. But no luck, but ui was happy with my Sword and shield, I use enact the war scenes and so. Trust me, I use to actually feel that time that shooing away the British invaders. 



I also recall that every year on 26th january and 15th August my mom use to prepare Tiranga Rice (made from natural colors of spinach, carrot, saffron adn white onions) with Chole Masala(Chickpeas with Indian Tomato gravy). I also attempted it once, after my marriage and it did come out well. 

So how can we as a young parents can inculcate patriotism in our child? Below are few pointers, which I have highlighted as per my childhood experiences and tips from other parents. 


1)Expose them to historical and Political figures:

We as a responsible parent and Indian citizens should always make sure that they do no miss a chance to visit national museums an other historical place. Never think that it would be boring, rather they find it more interesting as it answers to their curious nature. A visit to birthplace of Mahatma Gandhi ( Father of Nation), Tipu Sultan's Fort  and other such places will really excite them to learn more and more about national heroes. Trust me by doing this you are actually instilling the value of patriotism in your children and which is a worthwhile. It allows your little ones see life beyond an individual and understand the real meaning of 'being Indian'. As a parents and responsible citizens we should give this legacy of patriotism to our children as they grow up in this magnificent country. Indian history has abundance amount of facts to introduce it to our children. And here school authorities play a major role in introducing political and historical figure

2) Celebrate Patriotic holidays

Do not treat any national holiday like just another sunday in your daily life. Make it speccial by involving your little one in the celebration. You may celebrate it by doing charity, by watch DD (Doordarshan) live programe together, raise a flag in house/car, attend community/school flag hoisting, create a DIY Tiranga batch for all members in the family. By doing such tasks it makes them feel special  and proud to be an Indian.


3)Clarify their doubts

Little minds are always at work and end come up with all sorts of questions like why we celebrate 26th january?, why it is called Republic Day?, what is the difference between 15th Augus and 26th January? What is Independence Day? and so on. Such questions shouldn't block their learning of thier motherland, make sure you try to answer each question in sel-righteous manner, if you do not know then tell them you get back to them with right awsers soon. An see to it you do so.  Schools play a big part in filling our children’s reservoir of knowledge in this subject area. You may go beyond school teaching on patriotism, take a visit to city library and read a book on national hero or historical figure and make the learning more interesting. Make them watch TV series on same like Maharana Pratap, Jhansi Ki Raani, Chanakya and so on. 

4) Talk to them

Make them learn about all the freedom we experience on being an Indian. Explain them our our political system in simpler ways. Talk to children about the freedom to vote, freedom of the press/speech, and the freedom to practice any religion. Take your children to the voting booth to see you exercise that freedom. If they see these places and become comfortable with them, it will be an easy step for them to take on that responsibility when they become eligible to vote. You may talk about constitution in detail with your grown up kids .e. teenagers. Make it interactive, ask their opinions about rights such as the Freedom of Speech, discuss about current tropical and political news daily. Open this world to them so that it is a comfort zone for them. 

5) Play Games
For grown up kids you may play a game like quiz contest on historical and political figures, role play a democratic election within family, take family votes for family outing or menu for family dinner. This will make them more involved and will make it easy for them to understand the 'Power of Choice' and 'Power of Freedom'.

6) Tell them facts and trivia
On such national celebration days, make sure you share some trivias and facts on patriotic things like who wrote the constitution? who wrote the 'vande-matram'? or who wrote our 'national Anthem'? Tell them some childhood stories of our national heroes like Gandhi, nehru, sardar Patel and bhagath Singh. 


To develop more interest you may make them to watch periodic movies like bhagat singh, Gandhi and sardar. I stil remember my dad made me watch 'Shaheed-e-Azad Bhagat Singh(1954)'. I was not so interested to watch it as it was in black and white. But as the story moved on , I ended up crying for the song 'Mera Rang De Basanti Chola'. 

It was the first film based on Bhagat Singh's life. The movie was directed by Jagdish Gautam and had Prem Abeed, Jairaj, Smriti Biswas and Ashita Mazumdar playing lead roles. though it did not have commercial element like todays periodic film, but I was still glued to watch the film. 


I also grew up watching, Ben Kingsley's 'Gandhi'. the movie depicted the his journey from South Africa to India and playing a role in getting India her freedom, his political decisions and his death. I still remember the last scene where he dies right after being shot by someone in mob, and Gandhi succumbs to death calling 'Hey Ram'. These picture are still playing live onmy sub-conscious mind and gives me goose bumps till date. 

7) Make them participate
Always encourage them to participate in any events happening on these national days. Encourage them to be a volunteer for such community event happening in neighborhood. You may also push them participate in competitions like elocution, fancy dress, extempore, sports activity and so on. 

8) For lil 'Desh bhakth'
Yes for little ones who are to young to understand about what patriotism is allbaout. Youmay just make them do small stuffs like how to salute the national flag, watch live parade on Doordarshan, listen to patriotic songs. Tada, trust me your little one will love doing these stuff and you'll soon notice pride in your eyes.


So all you smart mommies, bring on your patriotic spirit and pass that legacy to your little one. Be proud and make them feel proud of 'being Indian'.

-XOXO
Nidhi @Moms' Space
Also read;
Super Momz>>Why Indian working mothers feel guilty?
Lets' celebrate 'Festivity in Diversity'
Defining an 'Uber Cool Mom' in my way

Goodbye 2013>> Embracing 2014
Christmas Calling>> Bienvenue à Pondy
10 Things Motherhood taught me

Sunday, 19 January 2014

My weekend art by Erishka

Heylos to all smart mommies, hope you all had an amazing weekend. Am very sure that with the kids and grown up adults (dads) at home, leaving no stone unturn to keep you occupied. S here is my weekend art, and this time it's by Erishka. After attending a birthday party she was in full playful mood. She was fascinated by stickers and was amused to stick it on a paper. She also started scribbling on it by pen and sketch colours.





Later she tried to stick it on her forehead like a Bindi and she had pit the sticker on her hand just like a tattoo.



Earlier in the month of December, during our Pondy Trip, she did play with her naani's (maternal grandma) bindi pack. I remember that my mom had left this while she was staying with me in Bangalore during my pregnancy days.



This weekend we also got her take Polio drops as there was a drive carried in the city. She was so curious to know what the ink mark is all about. She was beaming with smile and showing me the ink mark. Kids, I tell so blessed to find happiness in small things.



So all smart mommies out there keep trying innovative ideas to teach your child and make the learning more as a  fun activity.

-XOXO
Nidhi @Moms' Space

You may also like to read; Weekend Art By Rishabh Joshi
Weekend Art>> Play and Learn
Christmas calling: Top10 Activities for kids
Guest post: A Cute message board
10 Things Motherhood taught me
My weekend Art 1
My weekend Art 2
posted from Bloggeroid

Friday, 17 January 2014

A must read>> 'Bitter Chocolate'

Hey all smart mommies, with the reference to my ongoing articles on creating awareness on the most sensitive topic of Indian parenting, i.e.'Child Sexual Abuse' (CSA). 

Some how I keep looking for information or snippets which could make the communication on CSA in much easier way for Indian parents like me. 
While talking one of my mommy friend (Shilpi, she is a smart mom at home who is also pursuing her PhD and teaching at the IGNOU), she did mention a name of a book called 'Bitter chocolate'. Lushin Dubey's solo play 'Bitter Chocolate', which was directed by Arvind Gaur, is based on this book.It is the very first Indian book on 'Child sexual abuse' with Indian perspective. 

And it was more surprising to know that it was written by an an Indian author, Pinki Virani. Yes, Pinki Virani is the same author who wrote a book on true story of Aruna Shanbaug Case. 


I personally really admire Pinki Virani as a change maker with her words by bringing such social issues into lime light and compel the authorities to re-think and take actions for the same. Hats off to her courage and genuine intentions.

Though I haven't got my hands on the book yet, but it is in my do to list to  read it and understand CSA in much better way. 

I have so much said and written about CSA, that now I really looking forward to read this insightful boo, 'Bitter Chocolate'. Thanks to my mommy friends who happens to share such a valuable information with me. 

So all you smart mommies if at all you come across across any information regarding Child Sexual Abuse which could help in creating more awareness for the same among young parents, then please share or email me on modernmommy2012@gmail.com. These small efforts could be a great help for other parents who are ignorant.

-XOXO
Nidhi @Moms' Me Space

You may also read;
Watch this 'Sexual Abuse' video with your child
Smart Momz perspective on 'Child Emotional Abusing'
Smart momz perspective: Say No to 'Child Sexual Abuse'
Tips and tricks>> How to raise healthy kids?

Golden Globes 2014>>Best Dressed Baby Bumps

Follow us on Facebook@SmartMomzAtHome
Heylos to all Smart Momz, am very sure that all Momz-to-be would always be in a dilemma on what to wear to a Dinner party or a house warming occasion. And it becomes much tougher when one celeb mom-to-be has to dress for a red-carpet. 

Few days back I saw wall post in facebook Moms groups regarding the which channel is broadcasting the Golden Globe Awards 2014 live, in India. 

Kerry Washington - Flawlessly beautiful
Though myself being Smart Mom at Home, with added responsibility I couldn't watch he wards but I did happen to get updates on social media. 

It was showering pretty and neatly dressed baby bumps at the Golden globes. 

And trust me, these new mommies on the block have set really high standards for 'Showstopper' of Golden Globes Awards.

Though I did not happen to see the entire Award ceremony live, due to my new venture 'Lifestyle Services', mother blogging and toddler running the house insane. 
But I was lucky enough to catch up some glimpse on News Channel and was frequently updated news by #GoldenGlobesAwards on social micro-site twitter. 

And this time it was showering of pretty pretty celebs 'Baby Bumps'. 

So here is a quick look for all smart momz who are expecting to get inspired on how to get dressed comfortably yet strike a gold with fashion statement. 

Take a look at the 'Best Dressed Baby Bumps' on the red carpet of the 2014 Golden Globe Awards in Los Angeles.

Kerry Washington, who is expecting her first child later this year with Nnamdi Asomugha, was wearing a greyish ash blue colour long gown with a self stiched shrug (By designer Alexande WAngwhich flawlessly showed off her baby bump quite neatly. 


Drew Barrymore - looking gorgeous with baby bump
Olivia Wilde - known as fashionista, who is expecting with her fiance Jason Sudeikis, wore Gucci in a figure hugging with full-sleeves and glittery sequins of emerald green evening dress. 

Whereas Drew Barrymore, who is pregnant with her second child, is wearing the most Comfortable outfit (My personal favourite), a  flower-adorned a short-sleeve dress with a high-low hem by Monique Lhuilliera. I must say Drew Barrymore looked much stunning than ever. 

While actress Elsa Pataky, who was accompanied her dotting husband Chris Hemsworth, wore an embellished black Paula Ka gown with much need slit at front which looks damn comfy for moms-to-be

Elsa Pataky with hubby & Bump
The couple is expecting their second child which they announced November, 2013. The gorgeous couple was glowing with beaming smile at this grand event. 

And the caring hubby Chris was absolutely loving to highlight his wife Elsa’s pregnancy. He was loving it so much that he couldn't get his hands off her baby bump. 

All these celeb moms-to-be looked flawlessly gorgeous with their pretty baby bump and beaming smile everywhere. So all new smart momz-to-be, who are thinks that pregnancy gaining weight cannot make you look gorgeous, here are these stunningly beautiful celebs mom-to be, who are donning a perfect style for any smart mom-to-be to follow it. 

Tell me which one did you like? My personal favourite is Drew Barrymore's floral and flowy outfit and Elsa's black dress with a drape slit. What do think about their flaunting style statement with a attractively clad baby bump? Please comment your views.

So what are you waiting for, put on your shoes, and try something innovative when going out for a dinner date with your hubby. Enjoy these special moments by dressing up as beautiful as you can and make these precious phase of life a memorable one. 



-XOXO
Nidhi @Moms' Space
Also read;
Meet SuperModel + SuperMom = Gisele Bundchen
Momz Buzz>> Is 'Kim Kardashian' a bad mother?
'Defining Uber Cool Mom'
Super Momz>>Why Indian working mothers feel guilty?
10 Things Motherhood taught me
Goodbye 2013>> Embracing 2014

Tuesday, 14 January 2014

Lets' celebrate 'Festivity in Diversity'


Heylos to all smart mommies, hope you all must be busy with this festive season, I must say in India it's festivity in diversity. 

People across the India are celebrating Lohri (Northen part of India), Pongal (Southern part of India), Uttrayan / Makar-Sankranti (Kite Flying in Western regions i.e. Gujarat, Maharashtra),  Bihu (Eastern part of India) and Eid-e-Milad-un-Nabi (celebratd by muslims across he country).

During this festive season, the year embarks the harvesting happiness and transition of the winter season to the blooming spring. 


Each of the festivals – largely celebrated to mark the harvest season in different parts of India – will be observed by different communities in traditional ways.  Festival of Lohri reflects the beginning of new year and celebrates the good harvesting. 

All Sikhs across the country do lit bon-fire in thier community and sing and dance around it. 

They prepare the most sumptuous Punjabi delicacies like sarso-da-saag and makki di roti to celebrate harvesting. 



Bihu is the most important cultural festival for Assamese (the eastern region of India). 

Duirng this festival they lit bonfire early morning and offer prayers, visit friends and relatives wishing them good harvest for the year. A special delicacy is made called 'Pitha' made of rice, coconut, sesame (til) adn jaggery (Gud). Also a traditional Assamee dance is performed by all. 

But it's the most cautioned phase for kids, as the y are more prone to fall sick during this period due to season change. But doing parikrama around bon-fire may help to prevent such sickness.


Whereas Uttrayan (a.k.a. Makar-sankranti) reflects the colorful sky across the country celebrating the change of directions of wind during transition of season change. It's also called Makar-Sankranti due Astral reasons i.e sun enters Makara raashi (Capricon) Zodiac sign. I simply love this festive season as it's full of colours, sweets and happiness. The festival of kites is the best time for father and child to bond much stronger as all strong dadz can teach their kids to fly kites and lantern as high as they can and become a hero in front of their kids. 


The southern part of India celebrates Pongal. I was not aware of the festival called 'Pongal'. I was also confused with the rice item served in college hostel which was also called 'Pongal'. For me as being from Gujarat I was actually not aware about why pongal is celebrated but we use to often see it as marked holiday in school calendar.  

But I was glad that during those college days one our classmate did share the story behind this festival. She said that, Pongal is associated with the legend of Govardhan Mountain and legend of Lord Shiva and his bull, Nandi. According to the legend of Govardhan Mountain, Lord Krishna lifted the mountain on his little finger on Bhogi, which is the first day of Pongal, to protect the cattle and people from Indra, an angry rain god. 

According to the legend of Lord Shiva, on the third day of Pongal, Lord Shiva sent his buffalo Nandi to tell people to have oil bath daily and eat once a month. However, Nandi became confused and told people to eat daily and bathe once a month. This angered Lord Shiva so he placed Nandi on earth to help humans harvest for more food, therefore Pongal became a harvest festival. 


This day also marks the birthday of Prophet Mohammed, and so all my Muslim friends across the country will celebrate Eid-e-Milad-un-Nabi. 

Am glad that I have friends across the country who share their the stories related to these festivals. It's really nice to to know diffirent cultures and celebrate different festivals with the same zing of enthusiasm. 

As a child I was very curious to know lot many things specially about festivals. I use to often end up asking my dad about why this, why that. Like why we make til-gud chikkis for Uttrayan and why mom always cook undhiyoun (delicious gujarati vegetable dish, a must serve during kite-flying)in earthen pot during the festival. He never discouraged me to ask questions, rather gave me all valid answers with science, region and religion significance. Like for my obove questions he replied, "We all are set to fly kites on teraces, with scorching sun, and strong winds, we need strenghth to celebrate it and so gud-til chikkis are the best. And it can be prepared a much ahead and so your mom can too enjoy the festival. Undhiyoun, has all the green vegetables of the season (can say first harvest) cooked slowly on earthen pot. So that your mom can put it for cook and join us in the Latern flying too."

At Smart Momz we are all eagerly waiting for 26th Jan 'Smart Momz Meet'. We all members are constantly interacting on social media watsApp as so that we get to know each other better before the meet happens. Also I love the way my readers responded to my previous post on Super Momz a.k.a Working mothers. Looking forward to hear from you all soon. 

So all the smart momz and smart dads, please encourage your child to celebrate all festivals and also let them know more about different cultures and festivals and their significance. Here I wish all smart momz and super momz Happy Pongal, Bihu, Uttrayan, Lohri and Eid-e-Milad-un-Nabi Mubarak!


-XOXO
Nidhi @Moms' Space
Also read;
Super Momz>>Why Indian working mothers feel guilty?
Defining an 'Uber Cool Mom' in my way

Goodbye 2013>> Embracing 2014
Christmas Calling>> Bienvenue à Pondy
10 Things Motherhood taught me

Sunday, 12 January 2014

Why should Indian working mothers feel guilty?

Heylos to all smart momz out there, hope you all had wonderful weekend. My weekend went for full toss as I was busy taking care of Erishka who is down with cold and fever, also am suffering from chronic sinusitis.

Anyways today am going to write about something of which I get opinionated about.

I receive lot of anonymous grievance mails and calls from my friends who mom as well as working too. They often feel guilty that they are working and are also stuck in between work and family, in-spite of giving 200 per cent in both the field equally.


What makes Indian working mother feel guilty? And why always women are victim of guilt for working? Does ever Indian men feel guilty going to office? It's all in the mindset of people, and society at large, men are suppose to be the bread -winner and women are suppose to sit at home, these are their priorities pre-decided even before they are born. 

Yes that question kept lingering in my mind for more than 15 days or so. After doing a much of interaction with working momz within my family, my close friends and virtual friends from social media (WatsApp group and Facebook group) and my blog readers, I came to conclusion that it's not that they feel guilty just for no valid reason. They are made to feel guilty by the people around them at work and their support system i.e family members at home. At work, people are eager waiting to put you down by throwing more challenges like asking pinchy questions at work like, "Awe, you aren't with your unwell son today, he must be missing you."


Oh! for God sake, it's but obvious that the working mom who is also sensitive enough to understand her child, would have definitely made some reliable arrangements (baby sitter, day-care or grandparents) for him so that she can focus at work with no qualms. And one could be also made feel guilty by making remarks like. "Oh dear! your performance is not as expected in this quarter, could be because of your household responsibility." 

And sometime things get so worst at both the ends that the loyal hard-working employ and a sincere mother is stretched emotionally so much that she ends up feeling guilty and starts feeling that feel they are good for nothing niether work or family responsibilites, inspite of doing so  much and so I should quit either of them.


One fine afternoon I happen to attend a baking session by one of my friend 'Saziya) and was glad to meet this very young adult student. Yes, I know you would be surprised to know, about whom am talking. 

This lady came to attend the baking class along with her 10 yr old daughter Purvi. Her name is Kavita and she has been working for more than 15 years and a dotting mom too. After the baking session I spoke to her about how does she manages everything like work-life-family. 

She replied calmly, "I plan things ahead and I always keep back up plan on-hand". Then she told me that she makes are Indian masala (dhanya powder, chilli, turmeric ) at home. When I asked her about why does she do that and how is she managing time, "I am doing it for my child's health as there is so much adulteration in packed masala. I want to serve everything healthy adn organic and a big no to junk." She further informed me that she is attending these baking session only to serve home-made cakes and other bakery savories to her daughter. 

How thoughtful she is , just like me. Though she would be of 40 plus age, but had a calm posture, dedication in learning new things, cheerful enough to crack jokes and what not, we really had good time together.
While parting away, I tempted to ask her a personal question (Though I was not that close to her), "Do you sometime feel guilty or sometime do feel like just throwing your vent out?"



She just laughed and calmly replied, "I am doing good as mother and as a employ too. And I am my best judge to rank my scores in both, as I am the only person who knows what challenges I face at home front and at work field. And so I always try to be happy and keep my family happy and score my brownie points." She further added, "Yes, I use to feel guilty, and I think that it was a phase in my life, that I used to feel guilty in every sphere of my life. Once I was on business trip to Japan, and due to some unavoidable circumstances, my trip was extended. I wasn't not able to attend my daughter's Parents Term Meet at school. i sent my father on my behalf. And when I returned from my trip I asked my father to share the meeting details or any remarks or feedback given by teachers or school staff. I was shocked to know that teachers at school refuse to share anything with my father, stating that he is not the right person to communicate. I felt bad and guilty that i should have been there and also there was a second thought running in my mind that may there was nothing to share." 


She paused for a while, and further said, " And when there was the next meeting held, I was very much in the town, so I did not miss to attend Parents Meeting. Everything went well, my daughter was doing good in academics and other activities. I was happy to go back home with good remarks, but her teacher asked me to wait for a while. 
I waited for her and then she asked me that I should focus more on my child than office work and should have not missed the previous meet.

I simply nodded with the sign of guilt on my face. While going back to my home, her words kept haunting me and it lingered for more than a week. Fortunately, there was a session 'Know your child' was conducted by my office.

 At work we all were laughing our lungs out saying what is there to know my child, I definitely know my child very well, why a session for such a simple thing?"

Working Moms>> Can we ever be Guilt-Free Moms?
With the more cheerfulness increasing on her face and confidence in her body language, she further shared the most valuable tip for nay working mom, "When we entered the auditorium for the the session 'Know your Child', we all were curious to know what is going to happen. The orator there said, there is no need to feel guilty for working mothers, as they are far more particular and specific on discipline, routine, health and hygiene than any Stay at home mom. Not all moms who stay at home gives so much dedicated attention to thier child, most of them are busy in kitty parties, daily saans bahu soap opera or just yappin yapping on phone and overlooking thier child's requirement. And the mothers/mother in laws who claims we were much better mother than what you are now, just reply them that today's modern working women or mother leaves no stone unturned for the right up-bringing of a child. During those time 15-20 yrs back, where kids were born in dozens rate, which mother gave so attention to hygienic parenting style or organic eating habits. They would just tie a swing and keep the kid swinging and doesn't even bother to check pee n poop so often as you or she use not so bothered/educated to know/do clean child's spoons and cups in high sterilizing method like you. Despite of being at home they are also not aware what kind of notorious acts are indulging into. So there is no chance for you as working women to feel guilty."

There would have been times when you are irritated by doing multi-tasking with a conference call on right ear touched with support of your shoulder and neck, child lingering around you and crying now and then and also you are cooking simultaneously. 



Working Moms>> Can we ever be Guilt-Free Moms?
And in such situation you feel helpless, irritated and annoyed at self and all others. So what one can do to overcome such challenges. Again she replies with a beaming smile, "The orator in the session 'Know your child' gave us working mother a simple 3 step solution, First put phone on hold ask the person that can I call you in sometime, then second switch off your gas stove cover the food, carry your child spend 5-10 mins, then third give her some activity or ask someone responsible in family to take care of her or sit with her a till you make one office call. 

And done, your problem is solved. The point is give the much meed to attention to your child when it's needed o daily basis, avoid calls after work if possible. And for unavoidable circumstances follow above 3 simple step solution. This way I got away to feel guilty and started managing my family and work accordingly"

After having such an informative conversation with, while going back in rick towards my home, I just raised a query with my social media friends (smart momz WatsApp) stating super momz (working mother) please share your top tips for working moms on work-life balance. So in my next post you will find top 10 tips for super momz aka working mother.


Am sure snippets from my conversation with highly inspiring working mother (Supper mom), must be very helpfull to all my readers who are struggling to find daily solutions in work as well as at home. 

For me stay at home mom is a smart mom, whereas working mom is Super mom as they try to give their 100 per cent be it home or at work. Really hats off to all my Super Momz (working mother).



So to all my super momz no more guilt, no more qualms, just be yourself and spend quality time with loved ones and stay updated at work. 
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-XOXO
Nidhi @Moms' Space
Also read;
Working Moms>> Can we ever be Guilt-Free Moms?
Defining an 'Uber Cool Mom' in my way

Goodbye 2013>> Embracing 2014
Christmas Calling>> Bienvenue à Pondy
10 Things Motherhood taught me