Wednesday, 26 February 2014

How to Talk puberty with adolescencent?

Heylos to all smart mommas, I am sure you all must be gearing up for celebrating Women's Day in the coming week i.e 8th March. Yes we all as smart momz have scheduled something really special to celebrate womanhood. Keep a close watch on this space, I will share updates in my next post shortly.

As always am glad to publish this guest post by Archie on a very sensitive yet informative article on how to talk about puberty with our growing kids. She shares her views on how to talk about puberty and adolescence with our little angels.

My friend and the guest blogger for Smart Momz At Home, Archana N Swamy share her views and opinion on the same. She has brought an insight on how to communicate about puberty to growing kids (Adolescence) and how to help them to cope with their hormonal changes. Though my daughter is just 19 months old but sensitive issues like how will I talk about sex education with her, how will I keep her safe from child sexual abuse and even how will make her comfortable during her puberty days, such questions keep pondering in my mind.

So here is the write up, please read through, and feel free to share your feedback, views and opinions for the same.

All mothers, as a common factor in times discuss about bringing up their respective kids, their food, behavior, schooling, future, savings for them etc. These are all general topics of discussion encompass girls as well as boys. But as time moves ahead and toddlers step into 10 or 11 years, one may notice that there is a fine visible distinction in bringing up boys and girls. Needless to say, girls are more sensitive by nature than boys, especially one or two years before in gaining puberty. This is the point of discussion in this guest post written by Archana N Swamy.

This new year provoked me to think about girls gaining their puberty and the other consequences which revolves around it, as my daughter will be 11 this Feb. What I have learned from my mother is that how to cooperate with the roller coaster ride that a little girl’s mind would take before this critical movement and how I need to extend my special attention to her.

Most of the times the way family hides and friends discuss suspiciously about periods, it turns scary thing for some girls. So in this case, we better to have a fair and friendly discussion with daughters and educate them about monthly periods. A mother has to take call and clarify every doubt arising in her little girls mind. As a responsible mother, you must ensure that you have a meaningful and effective communication on the same. While talking to her about puberty, you will make your daughter feel comfortable and help her to understand herself in a better way. By doing this you will be able to make her understand that it is normal to get periods every month. And also it is equally important that whenever they are having their periods, you must take your girl into confidence and assure her that you are always there to assist her if needed. Two things involved here, one understands about Menstrual Cycle (MC), and second that she will learn extending assistance at the time of need.

Once she understand every why, what, how of MC you can go ahead and explain the topic in detail. Try not to give too many information at one go. Make it a casual talk with meaningful content. What I told my daughter Anagha, every girl has to gain puberty in this world and its for the good sake. I also explained her in detail everything about the menstrual about all ‘5Ws’ and one ‘H’ of the MC.

Educating daughters is one phase, which may not be that difficult, perhaps the second phase is where the real problem exists. For me its not only enough to have fat discussions about Menstrual Cycles(MC), but also involves mother’s and family member’s relationship with these growing dolls, understand their mood swings, bestow support and also educate them in handling the situation without getting panic. At this juncture because of hormonal changes most of the girls get irritations, frustrations, anger for silly reasons, disagreements etc. They go aggressive and senior citizens at home may feel ‘such a small tiny girl who has not seen the world is raiding on me’.

I am undergoing with the same crunch. There is a clear cut sign of gap not only with grand parents but exclusively with her father as well. And for which I decided to send her for a 5 days trip with her father. I did that because I wanted them to have a strong bonding as Father-Daughter relationship. And yes I do believe that in these five days she got some level of synchronization with her father, which can never happen in my presence.

Girls even could get irritated in gatherings, family functions where they don't allow you to have talk or spend time of your own. Yes you will notice that lot of your friends and family members will dump thier uncalled tips and suggestions on how to tackle your dughter's ever growing aggression and mood swings. It's hard to believe but my sister in laws who are totally possessive about my daughter told me you avoid bringing her to parties. But now she is no more toddler, but a adolescent who will be teenager soon. And so I do respect the feelings and emotional turmoil my daughter is going through, and I do allow her to take decisions for herself and secure her independence and individuality.

Last but not least, be cautious about girl’s eating habits, junk and chats anyways not at all advisable . Sweets, ice-creams and other heavy foods and consuming too much of deep fried items though prepared at home, better to avoid. Junk food like pokodas, pizza and burgers should never be consumed on regular basis. I am not asking to stop eating at all, but you can reduce the frequency at least after reading this piece of writing.

First of all junk, fast food and deep fried items may active hormones as earliest and girls gain puberty at very early age like 10 and 11. Within in no time girls become obese and looks heavy. Try to include lots of fruits, green vegetables and dry fruits in her regular diet. Explain them why no too much of junk and chats, create some interest in their eating.

I am glad, as now a days schools are against bringing junk in lunch box. For better tips you can go through smart moms' Kitchen Counter, we have discuss lots of healthy cooking procedures and most of the times with reason to eat that particular diet.

Mothers of toddlers can start from today, bring healthy eating habits like more of fruits and vegetables, so that you need not to struggle after 4 to 5 years down the line. I hope this article may help to the momz who are clueless when it comes to speak about puberty to their little one.

I hope this article might help you understand your child better during their transitional days of adolescence. Please do share your feedback, I be more than glad to know your views and ideas on the same.

-Take Care
Archie @Moms' Me Space

You may also read;

Watch this 'Sexual Abuse' video with your child

Smart Momz perspective on 'Child Emotional Abusing'

Smart momz perspective: Say No to 'Child Sexual Abuse'

Tips and tricks>> How to raise healthy kids?

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