Wednesday, 26 March 2014

Top Tips and Tricks to be a supermom...

Heylos to all mommies, hope you all are doing good, with exam fever and upcoming summer holiday plans. We as a mother have been blessed with umpteen super powers. But when we are already being supported by our better half (deary daddy), and all of sudden they happen not to be around, am sure just like me you all must be feeling miserably clueless on what to do and how to do. When my husband is around, it becomes easier for me to take care of my lo and manage the house too. But when is out of station due to some office project or social commitment, I need to deal with lot many unexpected circumstances.

Yes, I've been blessed with having my support system around like my family and friends on call to deal with sos issues. But sometime I too get puzzled and feel stranded alone to deal with some house-kids issues. 

Sheethal with her little angel
Today's guest post is by one of my mommy friends and a writer Sheethal Ann George. We both met as an acquainted mommy friend virtually, followed by few momz meet. While meeting her often we discovered that we have lot many things in common like views on parenting, motherhood and entrepreneur skills.

Here is what she says when asked her to tell my readers about yourself, "I am an entrepreneur and mom to an adorable 2.5 yr old girl. I used to be a business analyst, but happily bid adieu to the corporate world when my little bundle of joy came into my life. Life's been a beautiful roller coaster ever since."
 How to be a supermom when your hubby is out of town?  
By Sheethal Ann George

"Oh My God!! You are going to be all alone. How are you going to manage with the baby?"  This was my mom’s reaction when she came to know that my husband was going out of town for a couple of days. Needless to say, my own fears got doubled when I heard her reaction. What if the baby fell sick in the night, what if I fell sick, what if she asked for her dad in the night, what if there was an earthquake…the list of possible disasters just went on and on in my mind. 

I know single moms manage alone everyday. But for those who are used to their husband’s support, it’s really nerve-racking when that’s suddenly missing. The first time I had to stay alone, my daughter was just 6 months old. Now, I have become a pro at single-handedly managing my spirited darling daughter (now 2.5 yrs old) and my home.  
All thanks to some tips and tricks that I discovered through trial and (sometimes painful!) error. Many of these are good practices to follow at any time, not only when your hubby is out. So all you supermoms out there…here you go.

Tips to be a stress-free super mom

1. If you have a car,

a) Please learn how to drive it, Moms, please learn how to drive a car and practice that. Don’t let it be solely your husband’s duty. The independence it gives you is tremendous, but when you have a young child to care for and your hubby’s out of town, it’s priceless.

b)Get a car seat, I really can’t stress this point enough. In India we have this long-standing tradition of holding our babies on our lap while in the car. I was also a big believer in this tradition. 
But later I realized it’s much safer to strap them into a car seat than it is to hold them, no matter how 'tightly'. I’m not just saying this to ape the western world. My husband works in a leading car manufacturing company and he gets regular updates on accident statistics, their predominant causes and ways to prevent them. 
Also the independence it give you, as well as your little one, is really great. You are free to entertain your child without worry about her safety. An added bonus…. on those drives you can hold your husband’s hand like you used to.  

Once a car seat was installed I felt much better. Now I could just put her in her seat and drive wherever I want to go. The freedom I felt after that cannot be described. (P.S: Get the car seat installed when your husband’s around. There will be some initial teething problems. But patiently and lovingly ease your baby into the habit of sitting by herself.)  

2. Keep your vehicle 'Full-Tank' and in good condition
Make sure there is enough fuel in your vehicle. There should not be any need to go and fill it up late in the night. Also ensure that the vehicle is in good condition and that there is a good spare tyre in the back. Regularly get the air pressure of each tyre checked. It is also a good idea to learn (at least theoretically) how to change a tyre.

3. Get some baby gear, if possible
From personal experience, some of the things that have really helped me are; (a) a stroller or pram and (b) a feeding chair or high chair. These are not indispensable, but they really reduce the daily load on you, especially when there’s no one else to help.

4. Be on good terms with at least one or two good neighbors
Most of us don’t even know who our neighbors are. But my suggestion is…identify two non-weirdo neighbors and exchange phone numbers. Their help is very useful if you ever fall sick while you are alone with your baby. Inform at least one neighbor/friend/relative that you are alone at home.

5.Always store some extra cash
I was a typical city girl….very rarely did I store cash with me. After all I live in a city where cards are accepted just about anywhere (except for autos and buses). But after my baby was born I realized that sometimes you need hard cash in hand. One example would be when you need to opt for home delivery. So now I always keep at least Rs. 5000 at home.

6.Stock up on medicines – for your baby and yourself
When you meet the baby’s doctor ask him for the names and dosages of some medicines for common ailments like cold, cough, fever, diarrhoea, etc. Stock up on these meds. Do the same when you go to see your doctor. 

7. Make sure you have the phone numbers of your pediatrician and your physician   

8.Get your grocery shopping done in advance

9.Make sure there’s money in your account
If you don’t have one yet, open an account in your own name or at least a joint account with your husband. Always carry the ATM card with you, and also ensure that there is some reserve money in that account…this is your emergency fund.

10.Keep your phone charged and near you at all times
Many of us keep our cell phone in our handbag, which we then lock in a cupboard and then totally forget about it. This oversight has caused many a fight between me and my hubby. Can’t really blame him…If the situation was reversed I would have killed him.
11. Get a landline connection (preferably with internet connectivity), if possible
This would help ensure that even if your mobile phone is not working (due to no battery, network problems, and what not), there is an alternate way of communication. Also the internet is a great asset to have (whether for chats with your hubby or for entertainment).

12.Get the phone number of the place where your husband would be staying
Really helps when his mobile is unreachable.
13.Know your health insurance number, provider’s name and their contact number
14.Ensure the doors are locked, the appliances are switched off and the gas is off
This one’s a no-brainer, but in most cases it might be the husband who does this on a daily basis. So it is easy to skip your mind. Believe me; I know…I once slept without locking my apartment’s back door. Of course, my husband does not know this 

15.Tips on handling your little one’s fragile emotions when her dad is out

a)  Explain to your child in advance that her father will be going out
All child experts say (and I have experienced it myself) that you should tell your child goodbye and then leave. Please don’t sneak out while they’re asleep or otherwise engaged. Many parents avoid saying goodbye in order to avoid a teary scene. I know it’s heartbreaking when your baby is crying for you and you have to leave. But for the child, it’s much more reassuring to know that you have gone out, and will be back soon. When you sneak out they’re never sure whether you will come back. This causes all sorts of emotional issues.
b. Let your child speak with daddy dear on phone
I initially assumed that if I don’t let my daughter speak to her dad on the phone, she would forget his absence. But I later realized that this was increasing her anxiety and causing her to be clingy. So one day I decided to give it a try and timed it just before her bedtime ritual.  I did so and voila`, she was much more secure and slept like the baby she was. From then on, I made it a point to let them both talk or skype everyday.
c. Give more attention to your child
She might be missing her dad and may even express this through some tantrums and crying. But instead of reprimanding her, give her more love, attention and reassurance. After all you have to give her your husband’s share of attention too. Also keep reassuring her that her dad will be back soon.
d.If your child is sick, be all the more understanding
When a child is sick he/she tends to miss their father more than usual.

e. Get some coloring books or some 'age appropriate' games for her
If she is busy she won’t miss her dad much and will be happy playing. Also take her out for walks or to the park.
16. And for YOU - Get some books or nice music
Don’t forget that when your husband’s out of town, you too may feel lonely. And since you can’t go out that much (especially late in the evening/night), your mobility is also reduced. So stock up on some nice books, dvd’s, music cd’s, etc. This will help while away time in a pleasant and relaxing manner.

Honestly speaking, from being a really stressful time, these lonely days have become something I kind of look forward to. It gives me at least some ‘me time’. After all I have one less ‘kid’ to take care of. 

I hope this article helps you all smart momz to take a leap towards being super mom by taking care of lo and house all alone. And so now 'No Panic', am sure with all the tips and tricks mentioned by Sheethal will help you to have stress-free and hassle free stay with your lo sans hubby around.


Also read;
 Momz Meet>>Being Mompreneurs

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